Once again my Savior woos me. I’m surprised, as always, that He keeps trying. After all of the creative ways I find to drown out His voice in my life, you’d think He’d give up. You’d think He’d get the point – that I’m far more important to myself than He is - and let me settle for the best I can do, instead of reaching for the best He can do.
As a child and young person I was extremely aware of the presence of God. Relationships have always been of paramount importance to me, and my relationship with God was no exception. As if often the case, however, that good trait has a flip side. As I grew and started to have deeper relationships – particularly those of a romantic nature, I found myself more focused on them than on my Lord. When some of the relationships came into conflict with what I knew my Lord wanted, I chose to stop listening to that inner voice so that I wouldn’t have to hear the truth I already knew.
I have spent the greater part of my adult life trying to break down those barriers that I so painstakingly surrounded myself with. I have been trying to reestablish the habit of His presence in my life. It seems to be taking so much longer to get it back than it took to lose it.
I describe the last few months as being wooed because the Lord has been so gentle with me. I’ve realized the same thing over and over again and yet every time someone ELSE says something that leads me back to this place, it’s in a kind and comforting way. So many people/books/songs have been the voice of God in my life over this period of time, that I finally have come to a place where I cannot ignore Him any longer.
This Truth that has become so clear to me is about discipline.
Discipline.
What a loaded word.
I found this definition…
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
dis·ci·pline /ˈdɪs ə plɪn/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[dis-uh-plin] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation noun, verb, -plined, -plin·ing.
–noun
1. training to act in accordance with rules; drill: military discipline.
2. activity, exercise, or a regimen that develops or improves a skill; training: A daily stint at the typewriter is excellent discipline for a writer.
3. punishment inflicted by way of correction and training.
4. the rigor or training effect of experience, adversity, etc.: the harsh discipline of poverty.
5. behavior in accord with rules of conduct; behavior and order maintained by training and control: good discipline in an army.
6. a set or system of rules and regulations.
7. Ecclesiastical. the system of government regulating the practice of a church as distinguished from its doctrine.
8. an instrument of punishment, esp. a whip or scourge, used in the practice of self-mortification or as an instrument of chastisement in certain religious communities.
9. a branch of instruction or learning: the disciplines of history and economics.
–verb (used with object)
10. to train by instruction and exercise; drill.
11. to bring to a state of order and obedience by training and control.
12. to punish or penalize in order to train and control; correct; chastise.
That is an awfully long list, and it can’t even convey the connotation that the word carries. We talk about church discipline, disciplining children, self-discpline, and the list goes on. What I am discovering is about spiritual discipline.
I have asked myself time and time again how to get back that closeness; how to gain more faith, how to fall in love with my Savior in a deeper way. Again and again, I’m being reminded that it’s a matter of discipline. I need to spend time. I need to devote my energy and my focus onto my Lord.
I used to wonder at the great pillars of the church, who spent time in fasting, in meditation, in focused prayer, among other things, and really fail to understand the goal. As I’ve pushed for intimacy with God lately, I’ve really seen again and again, how important it is to PRACTICE. What a novel idea! We practice piano, practice sports. I am an excellent typist because I do it ALL day long. Why would it not follow that if I prayed all day long I would become and expert prayer? Why, if I spent all day listening for God’s voice would I not become so in tune with it that I begin to think His thoughts as my own (glorious!)?
I’ve determined that the waiting period is over. I have now successfully received the message loud and clear. I’ve made at least one small step in His direction. I’ve managed to carve out small portions of each day to read a little and pray a little, and I’ve already seen a difference. I’ve remembered prayers I promised to send. I’ve begun to enjoy a bit of divine insight into my daily activities. Suddenly, playtime with my 5 month old has begun an opportunity to delight in the gift I have received in her, instead of something to keep her from crying until I see the telltale signs of sleepiness.
I’m deciding now, that this is just the first step of many. With the grace of God I will add more and more ways to reconnect with Him into my daily routine. For today, I will be content to sit at my laptop and feel (what joy!) the love of the Father and to echo back to him my gratitude.
As a child and young person I was extremely aware of the presence of God. Relationships have always been of paramount importance to me, and my relationship with God was no exception. As if often the case, however, that good trait has a flip side. As I grew and started to have deeper relationships – particularly those of a romantic nature, I found myself more focused on them than on my Lord. When some of the relationships came into conflict with what I knew my Lord wanted, I chose to stop listening to that inner voice so that I wouldn’t have to hear the truth I already knew.
I have spent the greater part of my adult life trying to break down those barriers that I so painstakingly surrounded myself with. I have been trying to reestablish the habit of His presence in my life. It seems to be taking so much longer to get it back than it took to lose it.
I describe the last few months as being wooed because the Lord has been so gentle with me. I’ve realized the same thing over and over again and yet every time someone ELSE says something that leads me back to this place, it’s in a kind and comforting way. So many people/books/songs have been the voice of God in my life over this period of time, that I finally have come to a place where I cannot ignore Him any longer.
This Truth that has become so clear to me is about discipline.
Discipline.
What a loaded word.
I found this definition…
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
dis·ci·pline /ˈdɪs ə plɪn/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[dis-uh-plin] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation noun, verb, -plined, -plin·ing.
–noun
1. training to act in accordance with rules; drill: military discipline.
2. activity, exercise, or a regimen that develops or improves a skill; training: A daily stint at the typewriter is excellent discipline for a writer.
3. punishment inflicted by way of correction and training.
4. the rigor or training effect of experience, adversity, etc.: the harsh discipline of poverty.
5. behavior in accord with rules of conduct; behavior and order maintained by training and control: good discipline in an army.
6. a set or system of rules and regulations.
7. Ecclesiastical. the system of government regulating the practice of a church as distinguished from its doctrine.
8. an instrument of punishment, esp. a whip or scourge, used in the practice of self-mortification or as an instrument of chastisement in certain religious communities.
9. a branch of instruction or learning: the disciplines of history and economics.
–verb (used with object)
10. to train by instruction and exercise; drill.
11. to bring to a state of order and obedience by training and control.
12. to punish or penalize in order to train and control; correct; chastise.
That is an awfully long list, and it can’t even convey the connotation that the word carries. We talk about church discipline, disciplining children, self-discpline, and the list goes on. What I am discovering is about spiritual discipline.
I have asked myself time and time again how to get back that closeness; how to gain more faith, how to fall in love with my Savior in a deeper way. Again and again, I’m being reminded that it’s a matter of discipline. I need to spend time. I need to devote my energy and my focus onto my Lord.
I used to wonder at the great pillars of the church, who spent time in fasting, in meditation, in focused prayer, among other things, and really fail to understand the goal. As I’ve pushed for intimacy with God lately, I’ve really seen again and again, how important it is to PRACTICE. What a novel idea! We practice piano, practice sports. I am an excellent typist because I do it ALL day long. Why would it not follow that if I prayed all day long I would become and expert prayer? Why, if I spent all day listening for God’s voice would I not become so in tune with it that I begin to think His thoughts as my own (glorious!)?
I’ve determined that the waiting period is over. I have now successfully received the message loud and clear. I’ve made at least one small step in His direction. I’ve managed to carve out small portions of each day to read a little and pray a little, and I’ve already seen a difference. I’ve remembered prayers I promised to send. I’ve begun to enjoy a bit of divine insight into my daily activities. Suddenly, playtime with my 5 month old has begun an opportunity to delight in the gift I have received in her, instead of something to keep her from crying until I see the telltale signs of sleepiness.
I’m deciding now, that this is just the first step of many. With the grace of God I will add more and more ways to reconnect with Him into my daily routine. For today, I will be content to sit at my laptop and feel (what joy!) the love of the Father and to echo back to him my gratitude.
Comments