Perhaps it’s because of the phase of life my husband and I have entered or perhaps it’s just coincidence, but sometimes it feels like there is more and more pain around us lately. I’ve seen Beau’s parents’ marriage fall apart mainly due to infidelity, along with the marriage of a good set of friends from college. My college roommate’s father, a pastor, gave in to a pornography addiction, started an affair and left her mom. Recently another set of good friends have separated. My college roommate’s parents are reconciling, thank goodness, but it took nearly two years of pain for the whole family to get to this point.
I list all of those things in a dispassionate voice, like backup to my opening statement, but that’s not a true reflection of my heart. The truth is that these events touch me deeply. This is true partially because they all happened to people who I love. The other reason is that it is the greatest evidence I know for a fallen world.
I’m not trying to lay blame upon the individuals involved. Whatever responsibility anyone carries is not at issue here. What I’m referencing is the simple wrongness of the situations. Can you resonate with me? Can you identify with the feeling that this should not be? Why would we feel this way, this intense discomfort, if we did not have a clear vision, intuitively, of what SHOULD be?
Natalie Grant writes a song entitled “Held.” The entire song is inspired, so, at the risk of becoming too predictable, I’ve included the lyrics at the end of this post, but I wanted to reference my favorite lines here.
“This is what it means to be held. How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life And you survive. “
Isn’t that a poignant way to describe this wrongness? It’s as if we have a wound that will never heal completely. It sometimes feels like there is a sort of ghost left behind of that missing piece, a bit like amputees who can still experience sensation in a missing limb. How else can we feel when we see child abuse and rape and murder? How can we see innocence trampled and not wonder what has gone wrong?
But, as Natalie says, so eloquently:
“Who told us we’d be rescued? What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares? We’re asking why this happens to us who have died to live?”
The Gospel never promises that we will live happy, easy lives. It’s that sacred ghost that still expects peace. Unfortunately, we screwed that up. So, we yearn for what we’ve lost. The more truly aware we are, the more we weep over the loss of it. Unfortunately, we all respond to this wrongness in different ways. Some of us are swallowed in self pity, some of us feel defeated, some of us throw ourselves into an attempt to affect change, and some of us try to pretend it isn’t there. I suspect that a great many of us resonate with Natalie when she says, “It’s unfair!” But, what she goes on to say, and what I feel challenged by, is,
“If hope is born of suffering. If this is only the beginning. Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?”
If we are promised eternity with Him, the one who is the epitome of all that we have lost, “can we not wait for one hour?” Can we not weep with those who suffer, and weep for our own suffering, knowing that this is all temporary? Can we not endure this unhealed wound for a Savior who gladly was wounded for us? Let us revel in the knowledge that when we finally enter into eternity with our God, all the missing pieces will be filled and our wounds will be healed in the most complete way. Let us take comfort in the meantime, knowing that we are
Held.
Two months is too little.
They let him go. They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.
Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It’s unfair.
Chorus:
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.
This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred numb our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and
Tomorrow.
(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.
Bridge:
If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?
(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive. This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.
I list all of those things in a dispassionate voice, like backup to my opening statement, but that’s not a true reflection of my heart. The truth is that these events touch me deeply. This is true partially because they all happened to people who I love. The other reason is that it is the greatest evidence I know for a fallen world.
I’m not trying to lay blame upon the individuals involved. Whatever responsibility anyone carries is not at issue here. What I’m referencing is the simple wrongness of the situations. Can you resonate with me? Can you identify with the feeling that this should not be? Why would we feel this way, this intense discomfort, if we did not have a clear vision, intuitively, of what SHOULD be?
Natalie Grant writes a song entitled “Held.” The entire song is inspired, so, at the risk of becoming too predictable, I’ve included the lyrics at the end of this post, but I wanted to reference my favorite lines here.
“This is what it means to be held. How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life And you survive. “
Isn’t that a poignant way to describe this wrongness? It’s as if we have a wound that will never heal completely. It sometimes feels like there is a sort of ghost left behind of that missing piece, a bit like amputees who can still experience sensation in a missing limb. How else can we feel when we see child abuse and rape and murder? How can we see innocence trampled and not wonder what has gone wrong?
But, as Natalie says, so eloquently:
“Who told us we’d be rescued? What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares? We’re asking why this happens to us who have died to live?”
The Gospel never promises that we will live happy, easy lives. It’s that sacred ghost that still expects peace. Unfortunately, we screwed that up. So, we yearn for what we’ve lost. The more truly aware we are, the more we weep over the loss of it. Unfortunately, we all respond to this wrongness in different ways. Some of us are swallowed in self pity, some of us feel defeated, some of us throw ourselves into an attempt to affect change, and some of us try to pretend it isn’t there. I suspect that a great many of us resonate with Natalie when she says, “It’s unfair!” But, what she goes on to say, and what I feel challenged by, is,
“If hope is born of suffering. If this is only the beginning. Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?”
If we are promised eternity with Him, the one who is the epitome of all that we have lost, “can we not wait for one hour?” Can we not weep with those who suffer, and weep for our own suffering, knowing that this is all temporary? Can we not endure this unhealed wound for a Savior who gladly was wounded for us? Let us revel in the knowledge that when we finally enter into eternity with our God, all the missing pieces will be filled and our wounds will be healed in the most complete way. Let us take comfort in the meantime, knowing that we are
Held.
Two months is too little.
They let him go. They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.
Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It’s unfair.
Chorus:
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.
This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred numb our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and
Tomorrow.
(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.
Bridge:
If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?
(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive. This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.
Comments
have to go finish reading the post now!
I stumbled upon your post while looking for more in depth information about Natalie Grants "Held".
I am going through some really rough times in life. A lot of things (a father and a brother with a terrible dissease, a mother who's dying from cancer, a sister who became invalid because of a medical mistake and a young son with an probable heart condition) have happened in the last 3 years and are still happening. I am healthy, but I sometimes feel sick to the stomach when I think of the brokenness of this world and all the horrible things that are happening to the ones I love so very much.
About 3 weeks ago I discovered Held (I am Dutch and Natalie is not very welknown in The Netherlands). Expressing my feelings (Why? It's unfair!), but yet also challenging my faith and trust in our dear Lord, this song is a true gift. Your post is such a great addition to that gift, so eloquently written by someone who knows what it is like... Thank you and God bless you!
Thank you for your comment. It's gratifying and humbling to know that God used my words to touch you. I'll keep you in prayer as you deal with so many of those very very "wrong" things. My heart hurts for you.
Lael